In this segment, we go over what big decisions really are, and share tips on how to stay calm when making them.
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Transcript
Keely Dunn 0:00
Completely.
Okay, let's get on to Greg's Second. Second question. I got 15 minutes. I'm staying on this one, because I've been putting this off for about three sessions now. So this is also Greg Sara. Big question. And he asked how to stay calm during those critical moments when a big decision needs to be made. Assuming no video referral is available because none of us have video referral. We are talking like, what is it? 99th percentile? And probably? I don't know, .03% of all matches are played with video referral.
Sorry, we'll just pop this comment in from us from the last one. The suicides are more frequent than you think indoors. That's fair. That's fair. And interesting. Do you think that happens? Because? Because the shorter distance, and the shorter distance is all about happening, that the ball doesn't hurt as much? And the balls a little bit lighter? Usually, although not under the rules? Let me know. DM me if you want. I'm cool. All right.
So, Greg, how to stay calm and big decisions. I have no videos for this one. I mean, I could have pulled up a million videos of the top umpires, you know, deciding things in big tense moments. And I think what you would see in any of those and do do watch matches for that watch the big matches that the finals, the semi finals are usually even way more pressure packed, to be totally honest with you. And watch how the thing that you'll notice is that the umpires do the same thing. Most every time, they will not express themselves in a more dramatic way, when it's a big decision. They might react in terms of their post signal routine, they might move into a different space, or hold their stance in a different way in reaction to where the players are, and the conversations that players might be wanting to start with them at that moment. But they do the same thing almost every time. And that is an important starting point.
But the one thing that I want to offer First off, and please do chime in on this one, everybody, because I want to hear your ideas and your reactions to what I have to say. But I would like to challenge the whole notion of a big decision. And I do so from the position of understanding two things about the game: that no one decision changes a game. And it's talked about this a lot in the Canada Ireland Olympic qualifier game really spurned on a lot of conversation like that. And it comes back every time there is a quote unquote big decision that everything that happens, creates a chain of unavoidable unintended pursuant consequences. And we cannot get swept up in what the coaches and the players believe. someday they might agree with us someday. That the one decision doesn't change the game doesn't determine an outcome.
That is somewhat contradicted by what I'm going to say is the second thing I know about the game is that penalty corners are big moments. Now I don't think they're big moments for the game. But there are big moments for you as an umpire. And the people who are on this who are on my penalty corner management, the player proof your PCs workshop is that it's a vital moment for every umpire to exercise as part of their management routine. And their skills in that and showing their presence because it is a very unusual moment. The penalty corner is crazy weird. And it happens in most games several times. But all of a sudden instead of things continuing and everybody running and everybody moving all of a sudden everything stops and one team goes in one spot and once you have one another and the everybody is looking at the umpire, so it's a big moment. But is it a big decision. And the reason I make this point is that I think we put too much focus and pressure on ourselves. And that's exactly what gets us out of our zone gets us out of our flow throughout a game, making good decisions, and following our habits, and doing the things that work over and over over again, and then all of a sudden, it's like, oh, it's a big decision. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. And you start freaking out. So I think that establishing your habits, and adhering to them is crucial. And if you want to hear more about habits that you can have when you call penalty corners, my next player proof your PCs workshop is going to tell you all about at least in the penalty corner situation.
Now, that'll being said, that's your, that's your brain. That's your smart brain saying stuff. But your your gut brain might be telling you some different information. And staying calm is a very interesting concept. And some people might say, well, it's important to use that key word. In the moment, think about staying calm. What the hell does that mean? That doesn't help you. Think about the feeling of being calm? What does it feel like when when you're calm. And I'm borrowing a bit from God always inner game of tennis, and how feelings and just following what your body would naturally do, when it feels the right way will help you perform the physical skill. So how do you feel and what actions are you performing when you're calm, while you you're breathing more slowly, you're breathing deeply. When you're panicked, you're, you're you're puffing a little bit. And again, that's why fitness is important. Because if you're puffing, it makes you feel like you're not calm. And that's why you want to be in your spot. Anyway. I digress. Breathing deeply moving slowly. When you're calm, you're moving slowly, not with rush. So that's that's another good keyword instruction is moving slowly. Speaking normally, lower tone of voice. When you're excited, obviously, your tone, your volume goes up. And when everybody around you is shouting, it can be remarkably effective for you to have a quieter tone of voice because all of a sudden, people have to shut up in order to hear what you have to say. Of course, that assumes that people want to hear what you have to say, which isn't always the case when you're getting an argument as an umpire. But let's assume. So those might be a few things that you that you latch on to as keywords and things that you think of in the moment. That this is how–don't think about being calm, think about breathing deeply. Thinking about, think about moving slowly. That's why one of the main anchors, the first step of every penalty corner is to signal and to stand still. Because it forces you to move real slow, so slow, you don't move. It works. Now there are times when you can't stand still, you have to move in certain directions because of where players are, but foundationally and it helps set you up with that calmness. Really powerful.
Okay, I'll get back to the comments in a second here.
In terms of procedural things to do, stopping time and talking to your colleague is a very, very powerful action that you can take. Because it gives you an opportunity to disengage yourself from the conflict that might be brewing and the confrontation with the players around you. And give you a chance to remind yourself of your key words of staying calm. And to go to your colleague and walk through step-by-step what happened.
When we have radios, we tend to want to skip this step. And we feel rushed. We think, “Well, we've got radios we can just talk about it really quickly.” And they can say “no, no, it's a corner, it's good.” And then you signal a corner but you're still you're still moving fast. You're still animated you you haven't taken the time to work through it.
Don't be afraid to take your time to go talk to your colleague. And it could be that by the time you walk over and your colleague walks to you and you meet in the middle, you realize, “I got this. I have to fix the decision, or I got to stick with it,” because you've had the time, away from the players already to go through it. But you might want to double-check with them. This is literally a device to buy you time. And sometimes your colleague can have something interesting to tell you. If you don't have radios, yeah, you need to have that conversation, even if they can show you with the signal, if you feel that you're not in control the situation and the things that you need to do in order to be calm aren't available to you. And just have a chat. have a chat.
And then the last bit of that, if you if you don't stop time, because you've got radios, take your time with demonstrating the radio communication. So there have been times on, you know, the big matches, when we've been working through them or with clips that you'll see umpires, you know, they'll they'll put their finger on there, not because they need to. But because they're showing that they're having a conversation, they'll lift their head, they'll crane their neck, they'll make sure they have eye contact with their colleague, even though you don't need to see your colleague to talk to them on the radio. And then they'll “Yep, got it. It's here? Got it, okay.” And they'll they'll physically demonstrate. And it takes time to demonstrate things physically. So you get a chance to calm down, you get a chance to move slowly in these actions as well. If you do things really fast, then, you know, again, but this is a way that you can actually send those psychosomatic signals to your brain. I'm calm, because look at how slowly I'm moving.
Yeah, you know, it's it's all very sophisticated and nebulous. But it works, this stuff works. And then, once you've had that, it's about having a standard practice to end the moment to end the big decision. Because it can turn into a big dispute. And knowing what you're going to say, after you've communicated what the result of your consultation is, and I highly recommend, when ever it's feasible to get a representative from each team into a discussion, to confer with them and say, Look, this is what we saw. This is what's happening, especially if you're overturning. But if you're confirming and the other team's super happy, then you know, maybe you don't need to involve them in the conversation, but you can you convey your decision.
And then it's, then you need to have a response or two, that's canned. Because you're going to be in a pressure moment here. Practice this response, practice your phrase, and it could be mine is, “I hear you. But this is what we saw.” And I use the we, “this is what we saw. We're going to play this out. Let's talk after the game.” Okay, to get things moving on.
So hopefully that gives you a few things that helps in those situations. I'm what's popped back.
So Greg, with more questions. Just kidding. You're great. Keep it up. What do you do with based on players' actions from both sides, you missed something obvious in the circle, and you're not getting any help from your assistant you just play on? Some players actually stop playing? Yeah, you have to, you can't make up something you didn't see. And if both sides, if both sides have stopped for whatever reason, then you've got a danger element going on there. Okay, especially if it's in your circle. And you might might be able to intuit something from that. But don't guess, don't guess. And what you need to do is communicate to the players to get them moving again and say, “sorry, folks haven't seen anything yet.” And you say yet, because invariably, as soon as you say “sorry, I haven't seen anything,” boom, there's a foul and then you blow your whistle. And then people like “you just said you didn't say anything!” So I'd like to say yet so that I can. I can, you know, get back there. And again, if you're not getting support, your supporting umpire isn't able to communicate anything to you at that moment, because either they haven't seen anything or they're just not able to communicate, you might play through.
And then if you're on radios, it's, “Hey, do you have something? What do you got? What do you got? What do you see?” And ask, ask your colleague to get involved. And to be able to–part of your pre-match chat might be all right: when the ball's over on that far side of the circle, Bermuda Triangle, deep down on my baseline, out, you know, near and around my circle, I want you to tell me that you haven't seen anything. I want you to be: “Yep, you're good. You're good. Nothing yet. Nothing yet. Nothing yet. Now, there's a corner.” And I like that. Because the the momentary, like things can change in an instant. And I've made an agreement with my colleague, that we are going to be engaged for each other in those moments, because if they're not telling me, “you're good, you're good, you're good,” I'll be saying, “Hey, where you at, I need you.” Even if I can see it, I want them engaged. Because it's a habit. And the minute that you're not doing it, you have to consciously think about doing it. And it's not part of your regular practice. You're not going to be doing it in the big, hard, emotionally fraught moments that aren't big decisions, but are big moments.
Bye, Simon.
Yeah, absolutely right, Barry. You need to go through your team when the clock isn't stopping. And when you have that routine, it should be just fine. You should be able to get through every step in the 20 or 25 seconds that it takes for defenders and attackers to get themselves set up and you are dictating that tempo. It's your bossing your corner, your setup.
You're right, Lou, we have different perspectives. It's just that theirs are wrong. I'm sorry, it's just not logically tenable. It is not logically tenable to say that one penalty corner decides a game. And I'm putting my angry eyes in right now. Because I really do feel strongly about this. And you have to figure out a way I think if you're going to excel at sport, if you're going to excel at officiating, but if you're going to excel at sport, as a leader, as a coach, you have to figure out where your emotion needs to go. And it doesn't go into a big decision, because you're wasting your time and your energy.
Roger: I stopped the match to speak to the captains including my colleague when both teams are getting frustrated and much players themselves as much the opposition plus the umps. So you got 20 minutes of good play, and there was 30 minutes on the clock. Yeah, well, that's life. But great technique, great technique, right? Because you're you're stopping the momentum, you're calming everything down. You're going to be moving slowly, in the moment.
Sometimes when you you blow your whistle twice in the middle of play, you've just called a free hit. You want everybody to calm down, you know? Yeah, that's, that's effective. I am reminds me of when I was playing University. And we had a teammate who's now a very prominent sports psychologist, which is hilarious. And she played on the national team. And we were having a real problem with controlling our emotions and our frustrations as a group. We were a group of very, very strong, strong women. And we all agreed that we had a key word of composure, and that when we needed to do something, and this is why keywords that explain a concept, but not a feeling, don't work. But we're like okay when things go wrong. We're going to say “composure,” and we're in the middle of a game and like everything effs up and this player turns around, she turns around all of us (she's a forward), She says “COM-PO-SURE!!!!!” Steam coming out of her ears. In the moment, and in the pace of the game. You don't achieve your results. You have to change your physicality to change your physiology.
Was that smart? I like it.
Um, let's see. Yes, arena umpiring. Did I I don't know. If I've been getting you worked up there, Jenks? All that physics got you stressed out? I hope no, hope not.
Inge: the main thing is confirm. You will listen to a player but you've now made a decision and then get the game, get back going, move on. Yes, absolutely. It seems like a bit of pandering to just say, look, I hear you. And but I think it's important. I think it's important to be not habit. Just be like, “No, no, no, no, don't even bother. No.” That would be frustrating. It's like, “no, I hear you. I hear what your viewpoint is. But this is what I saw. And that's what I have to go with. So although I hear you, this is where I'm at.”
Yep, keeping it simple. Bye Marvo, you're welcome, Greg. And yeah. So I hope that gives you some, some things, some ideas. I'm also interested in your ideas. If there's anything that you've done, that has worked for you in a game, chime in right now, anything that, you know, wasn't covered here.
I remember some time ago, I was at the Junior World Cup in 2009, in Boston, and after my third game, sitting in the debrief, and the umpire manager said, Keely, you know, you're, you're a really accurate umpire except in the last 30 seconds of a half. And I was like what. And they said, we've noticed a pattern, that if you have a big decision to make, in in the closing moments of a half, you're more likely to get that decision wrong, you're going to call a penalty corner that shouldn't be there, for example. And, it was well spotted. But they didn't help me with figuring out how not to do that. So I had to figure it out for myself. And part of that was is that I realized that I was allowing this notion of a big decision to get into my head. It's important to prepare for the end of time, because it changes how you express advantage, how you're assessing flow, you assess attention, intention, sorry, differently, at the close of games, close of time periods. But you have to also practice the things and stay to the same emotional patterns that you have throughout. And preparation actually really helps in that sense. But I needed to I needed to disengage my I need to close down my emotional reactions, I was getting swept up in the emotions of players. Let me say a little more summarily succinct, and once I figured that out, it really helped me and having a habit a pattern of the every time I blew a decision, a penalty corner decision. I did the same thing every time after I established that. I think I started getting more of those calls correct. So that's one of the ways that can come into play in the games.
You're very welcome, Harmut. It's good to see you. You recovered from last week's angry eyes session, experience where I got on you always good to see.
So yeah, that is big decision staying calm. And a very bizarre mathematical physics exercise on getting hit with the drag flick above the knee.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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